He wishes I was dead.

My child asked to go to heaven last night.

He said he didn't want to be alive anymore.

He's three so he doesn't fully understand the weight of those statements. He didn't say it because some terrible, traumatic thing happened. He didn't say it because he was upset. He honestly said it without any emotion at all. As if he was just stating a fact.

You see, we talk about heaven a lot in our house. Our kids know that when someone we love dies, be it a human or a pet, they go to heaven. They live in heaven where, even though we can't see them anymore, they can look down at us from time to time and make sure we're still doing okay. And they know that when somebody goes to heaven they aren't sick anymore.

So as soon as he said it, I knew why. I didn't overreact or flip out thinking my kid wishes he could die. Because I know that in Cooper's mind, people just "moved" to heaven. They didn't physically leave this earth, they aren't gone. They just moved really far away. So instead of freaking out, I asked him, "why, buddy?" And I braced myself for his answer.

"Because mommy, I want to go to heaven so I can run around and chase my friends. We will play tag!"

There it was. He wants to go to heaven so he can run. Usually in these situations my mind starts racing, trying to figure out what to say. But in this moment, I was frozen. The only thing I could think to say was, "But buddy, none of your friends are in heaven. And if you go to heaven, I'll never see you again."

His answer? "Oh yeah... Well, then I wish you were dead too!"

And just like that, my kid took me from being heartbroken and trying not to cry, to laughing hysterically because he told me he wishes I was dead.