Our Newest Challenge.

We've been having a lot of small wins in the Walls house lately. Cooper is continuing to get stronger. He's able to bear the slightest bit of weight through his legs now. That may not seem like much but trust me, it's huge. He's also getting pretty good at holding himself in the crawling position for longer and longer. He can lay himself down without a problem and is really working on getting his knees underneath him once he is laying down to be able to get himself into the crawling position. We're also working hard on teaching him the best way to sit himself up from laying down.

Although we're seeing a lot of progress and improvements, we're facing a new hurdle now. Cooper is very quickly becoming aware of his differences. He's realizing he isn't like the other kids and he's starting to make some really heartbreaking comments.

If you know Coop, you know the kid talks. All. the. time. He literally never stops talking. Well sometimes, usually when he's being carried somewhere, he'll be jabbering to us about something and all of a sudden he'll say, "Don't worry, when I get bigger I will be able to walk. You won't have to carry me then." Those words cut like a knife.

He talks a lot about what he will do someday. He wants to be a firefighter and a race car driver when he grows up. Typical boy stuff. Obviously we tell him he can be whatever he wants to be when he grow up but the reality is, he can't. And it breaks my heart knowing that someday he's going to face that reality. Some day he's going to be old enough to know there are so many things he can't do. I hope he learns to focus on all the amazing things he can do. I hope he never feels less than because he isn't able to do certain things most people consider normal.

One of the toughest moments we've had in a while happened just the other night. Coop still drinks his milk out of a bottle a bed time. Don't judge, the kid has gone through so much and if drinking out of a baba before bedtime makes him happy, I'm here for it. We've been telling him that at some point he isn't going to be able to drink his baba anymore. We tell him he's a big boy and he can drink his milk out of a big boy cup before bed. Hoping that at some point he'll just agree with us and no longer want his bottle. I guess you could say we're going with a baby-led weaning approach when it comes to the bottle. So the other night I was telling him I bought him some really cool superhero cups he could drink his milk out of since he's such a big boy and doesn't need his baba. He said the usual "I'm not a big boy, I'm a baby." Typical of a child who absolutely does not want to do whatever it is that big boys do. So we bantered back and forth a couple times and I kept telling him, "You are not a baby! You look like a big boy. You talk like a big boy. You act like a big boy. And you're super smart like a big boy." His reply was, "But I still fall down like a baby." WHY?! Why does my 2 year old know how to articulate so damn well? Why does he think about things like this at his age? I did my best to keep my composure and explained that everyone falls sometimes. I told him his sissy falls all the time still. I told him I fall down sometimes. I told him even daddy falls sometimes. I think by the end of our conversation he realized that just because he tips over every now and then, it doesn't mean he's still a baby. But the fact that he was able to connect those two things, makes me so scared for what's to come. Because I'm sure this is just the beginning of these comments and feelings.

I thought we had more time before getting to this point. Just when I was starting to get comfortable in this roller coaster of a journey, it's time to face our newest challenge.